Wednesday, 7 November 2012

Rejected, Raging and a Review

Feeling dejected now...I cant go for Teach India this year (the first time I applied) because my final exams will be going on and Ill have to miss two days of training. Vacation plans spoilt. No certificate, no teaching, just more wasted time. I do have my blog though, my only shining beacon of hope in an otherwise bleak day. The first thing I do on my computer is check my statistics.Sigh... how easily satisfied I am these days. All it takes is a little statistic and my day is done. A large part of my happiness these days comes from my page views graph...the higher the graph, the wider my smile. Trivial, childish me.
I just noticed, I've kinda developed a double chin...a stupid bit of fat hanging behind my otherwise sharp chin...I hate it. I've declared a fast to thinness until it disappears. Exercising is so bloody painful. It works, yes. Fifty crunches and I have an almost flat tummy (until I eat again at least). I'm scared of eating and then puking...Id like to do that but I've read enough about Anorexia and Bulimia not to try extreme stuff.
And then the computer...
Obnoxious little brother wont get up...hes developed a penchant for bribing.
“Want me to get up? Put my favourite music on” (which means I have to listen to Akon's sexual exploits until I'm ready to kill the guy) or
“Want me to get up? You lose your time”, bloody brothers, I hate him at times like these, sister dear is easier to handle...put on a movie and she’s happy.
Bro makes me grovel and beg...which hurts my ego like anything and not only that, he'll squeeze every last drop of begging out of you till you're ready to go bury yourself and then get up with a lot of grumbling and groaning while extracting promises from you to get up soon. Horridly exasperating.
I've almost killed him one or two times in the past for doing that (with equally horrid repercussions). I'm better at controlling my temper now...losing my temper has many downsides compared to controlling it. Controlling it makes the beast inside me cringe painfully for some minutes after I let go, making me cry sometimes, telling me I'm a sissy without a spine but losing it is worse, the physical pain, emotions running so high, broken furniture and bones and a dressing down from daddy.
Whereas after controlling my temper I can pat my back, reward myself and tell me what a good God's child I've become.
So, I'm not a very happy girl now. And reading Black Swan Green isn't making me feel any better...for lack of stuff to say heres a review of what I've read until now.
I learnt about this book from Flavorwires Books To Replace Catcher in the Rye as the Perfect Teen Book, as Catcher has now become the cool book for cool high school teachers, not cool teenagers!
Anyway, the book is the story of Jason Taylor...stammerer (not stutterer, both are as different as diarrhoea and constipation!), teen (didn't catch how old, but old enough), poet and mid-range in school status hierarchy. There are many characters coming in throughout, Dean 'Moron' Moran - best friend, lowest level in school status hierarchy, Dawn Madden boyish, inscrutable crush and a host of others, plus a four-member family: pa, ma, irritable elder sister and Jason.
It’s raw, honest and a reference dictionary for substitutes to f*** (which I think everyone really needs). The f-word is so some creativity people!
I felt it similar to The Casual Vacancy (Rowlings latest (adult) novel) but not as boring (not at all. Whereas Vacancy should be read only if you really really want to know what are Rowlings capabilities in adult fiction and you have two days to waste if you can finish it that fast).
So it’s a good read.
Ma has just put the radio on. Bheege hont tere is on, somebody please kill me...did someone hijack and obliterate Radio Mirchi's song database that the RJ didn't have anything else? Gawsh, I'm tuning out. Cya when I feel better. Bye.

P.S. My thoughts after re-reading this later: I sound like a total brother-hater. Do not misunderstand. I love the little angel (Though I would like to say varmint!)...It's just that he gets on my nerves sometimes.
And that sounded totally Hollywood. Why did I publish it then??Two words...Bone Lazy and incessantly proud of anything I write, even if its crap (a. k. a. Writers Disorder!)


  1. First of all I am thankful to the good lord for making this comment window available to me at last.. second of all, are you my long lost twin or something? (been to Kumbh ka mela eva?)
    The first half of your post and honestly a lot of your other posts, what can I say? It's like twinspeak (hey, I just minted a word.) You mirror my thoughts sooooo well.. I don't think I can write my own thoughts that clearly.
    No kidding, I swear on all my Gods, when I read your stuff, quite literally, I feel like some one has invaded my privacy. How on earth is it possible that a person who I barely know is leading a life just like mine... Believe you me,, you are that good.
    God, look at the length of this message,, you can thank me later,, i saved u the trouble of your next post itself,, lol,, on a serious note,, i luv luv luv ur writing..xoxo

    1. Love Love Love to you and Thanks Thanks Thanks for the comment...I'm such a sucker for praise!
      I might just publish your comment as my next for being your lost twin,no such luck for me!
      But I'm glad I found you here...really.
      Love and a really tight bear *hug*!

  2. Talithaaaa :D
    You're such an endearing spirit! The stories you tell, and the situations you depict are so practical, realistic and funny that it is really easy to relate to.
    Your world seemed like mine while I was reading your post, and not many people have the power to write like that. To dissolve the reader into a world created by mere words. You're a natural, love. Keep posting, cant get enough of you. :D

    1. I'm at a loss for words in the face of such beautiful words of praise.Your prose gives me such a complex,I don't know whether I want to wring my hands in despair or give you a hug...but for now.I'll control all the mushy expressions forming in my head and say Thank you soo much and a hugge bear hug.Love!


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