Tuesday, 31 December 2013

What 2013 Taught Me

So I've been AWOL for a while.And while haven't been doing any actual blogging,I have definitely been talking about it...'tis one of the only impressive-sounding things in a  thoroughly-average, lazy bookworm's life.Makes people think you're into web-design and things when in fact,your Diploma in Engineering is worth exactly puddlenuts.  

Anyway, 2013 has been a fun ride and this is what I've learnt!

Trying to learn integration and differentiation in one night is bad idea.Might as well not bother studying at all.

A blog is probably one of the only things you can boast about, that won't embarrass you.Until someone actually reads it.

Don't begin watching The Big Bang Theory unless you intend to finish the series.And the bloopers,and  the filming episodes and the Comic Con panels.That said, everyone should watch it.Give up your Christmas break.You won't be sorry.This.

SpongeBob I can't wait!
Yep.Arms and all.

If you live in India and speak English you should join Teach India.People who actually want your advice about their English,free food during training at a fancy hotel, and a British Council certificate.
What more does a persnickety convent-school grammar-granny want?!

Using ghee when one runs out of butter to make chocolate is a bad idea.Unless you don't mind chocolate-flavored mysore pak. Blech. And I still ate it.

Chocolate cake mountain.Who wouldn't?!
That's what I felt like.Till I remembered that I made it myself.

Don't ever step out of the house with friends thinking its only till the shop downstairs to say bye.It never is.always dress like people are watching you. That's how one ends up at the railway station in a brown nightdress and fishbone-flipflops with a deranged grin on one's face.
Also,Don't wear (unintentionally) torn-jeans thinking no one will notice.They do.

Google Keep is a bad idea.So is Google+.The first because, you will probably end up losing all those hard-to-come-by smart aleck replies you think of after arguments and the second because all your imaginary stalkers need only type in your name in Google to see your grinning face.That said,all hail Mother Google.
Seriously,Do not use Google Keep.Not unless you want to end up like this:

No cat
Thus proved.Cats are always cute.Unlike human beings like yours truly.

YouTube is fun.A lot of fun.

Click clickety click

Stuff I'm looking forward to:

Buzzfeed India
Hai rabba!

Posting on a schedule is going to get difficult(*snort snort*)so I'm thinking of joining Twitter, The Twitteress anyone?!
140-character prospects! 

I've decided a twice-a-month schedule and thinking of joining IndiBlogger...I could use some peer-pressure.
And maybe a blog-makeover.The possibilities are endless!

Wake up in the morning feeling like P-Diddy!

And I hope you have a fantastic New Year!


Thursday, 14 February 2013

Welcome to the 1st Occasional Blog Awards!

It’s that time of the year when Love is (supposedly) in the air folks!
Although I don’t see any cute, naked, Greek babies floating anywhere in my vicinity and no part of my cerebrum has turned to gooey mush or anything, this year I do have something to be especially happy about and say I love you to.
I just got Liebstered!

And twice at that!

And this is what I'm supposedly supposed to do:
1.     Give 10 random facts about myself.
2.     Answer the questions given to me by my wonderful nominators.
3.     Nominate 11 bloggers with less than 200 followers.
4.     Write 11 questions for them to answer.

The lovely Momina and The Unicorn Lady have both tagged me for my very first shiny badge....of bloggy honour and pride and shtuff.

That's for you girls!

And a leetle controversy too.
Blog awards are nice and all but just passing them on kinda makes them like some mass forward SMS...If you’re in the right circles you get one and if you’re not, I'm sorry...*sad no*...which doesn't seem very fair.
But as long as we take them not as indicators of skill or anything and just as a fun way to ask crazy questions and get away with it....and an excuse to delay a post!

A Reaction GIF For Everything Halloween

First, the random facts:
  1. I successfully predicted the headlines for the day Michael Jackson died.
  2. I'm very obvious.And I tend to exaggerate.
  3. It's raining for the very first time this year as I type this!
  4. I palm-sweat. A lot.
  5. I read in the shower.Sometimes.
  6. Barf-fact: I saw a dead rat with its innards lying on the road today.
  7. If I could pick a celebrity to turn into it'd be Jennifer Lopez(when I'm on an I'm-FAAAT streak only).
  8. I can’t remember what I look like at times.
  9. I think I’ll make a terrible wife.Or employee.Or anyone who can be called a responsible adult really.
  10. I'm prone to unexplainable stupidity.

    Second, the Questions. Instead of the usual 11,I have 22 questions...noffair!

    Momina's set: 

    1. Who is the last person you usually think about before going to sleep?
    *Narcissistic smirk* That'd be myself. Saying sorry to God for all the dumb things I did that day. Or sometimes it's about whom I've been reading.

    2. Something you do alone, but wouldn't do in front of others.
    Dance. Like this:
    A Reaction GIF For Everything Halloween
    Oh yes.

    3. Do you have any strange phobias?
    Not especially. I hate touching garbage bins. No, not even to change the bag.

    4. One Favourite Novel that you'd like to recommend people to read and why.
    The hard one! It keeps changing.
    Currently, I'm all Gillian Flynn. And Jenny Lawson. Because they're brilliant.
    Oh yes, C.S. Lewis...all time favourite. And Roald Dahl too.

    5. Do you take the shampoo and conditioner bottles from hotels? :P
    Nope. I’d take the stationery though!;)

    6. Do you use Post-Its?
    Nope. I collect them! All in pretty,different-coloured bunches.

    7. If you could live anywhere in the world, where would you live?
    I'm in a contented-bubble right now, so I’d say where I am now .Otherwise it would be Bhutan. Or Africa. Or France.

    8. What inspires you?
    Walking. I just realised it, I get all my ideas when I'm walking some-place.
    And observing other people.

    9. Would you go bungee jumping or sky diving?
    NEVER. I'm terrified of heights. I'm even sacred of going on a kid-sized slide.

    30 Funny Daily Life Reaction Gifs For When...
    Me at Water Kingdom!

    10. Do you ever count your steps when you walk?
    Nope. I'm too busy observing the hippy guy across the road.

    11. Have you ever danced without music?
    I suppose I have waved my arms around remembering the strains of some song I remember.

    By The Unicorn Lady:

    1. If you could change your name, what would it be?
    Depends on whether I wanted to be a pirate or a Na'vi at that moment! But otherwise I like names that begin with a K or an A and have an L somewhere...stupid answer. Something like Keyla...or something. Naah.

    2. Name the one thing/person that you love above all things or people.

    A Reaction GIF For Everything Halloween

    3.What's the first thing that comes to your mind when I say 'love'?


    4. Your favourite band.
    Keeps changing.I like old stuff. Indian Ocean, Bombay Vikings, Blue are some I'm remembering now.

    5. Who's your superhero?

    15 Gifs To Share With Your Friend That's Having A Rough Day
    This guy.He died trying.

    6. Do you consider yourself lucky or unlucky?
    Lucky. Though I don’t believe in luck being what gets people anywhere.

    7. Describe yourself in three lines.
     I'm too many things all at once.And sometimes I'm naught. Either way I live!

    8. Something/Someone that changed your life.
     Growing up!

    9. Describe the love of your life. Even if he/she doesn't exist.
    I really like this quote from the Three Musketeers:
    The best thing about an imaginary opponent is that he is highly skilled, yet easily defeated.
    Kinda like that.
    Who am I kidding. I'm a Princess...I want Prince Charming. With a Mallu sense of humour.
    On a second note,maybe I don't.Not a Prince Charming.

    10. Why do you stare into emptiness, when you do?
    Because I'm thinking.Or writing a post about whoever is sitting opposite me!

    12. What are you made for?
    To edify.Though I wish I adhered to it more.

    The people I'm tagging:
    I've tried to do this nicely and it was difficult. Really difficult. I'd have liked to pick everyone in my reading list and I've tried picking those people who don't seem to have a Liebster as yet and whose blogs I immensely love!

    BrownGirlBloggin - ROFL ROFL crazy.Where being brown isn't a bad thing!
    DWei - Calls himself a Derp. So derpiness is a good thing!
    Ghadeer - Original.Crazy.Writer.Love!
    Ginger - Journalistic.Tongue-in-cheek funny.She reminds me why I love the Irish so!
    icyHighs - A vast vocabulary if well-used(with a shot of that sly humour) can lead to absolute infatuation with his blog! That's what I learnt. And he just released a book.About time I'd say.
    Laila N Mysis - She's got the fun-nest family I've seen on a blog. And I love how she thinks.And writes!
    Stutee - Repeat from before. Bold. Badass. Bindass!
    Tangled Tofu - I'm going to see her on my bookshelf  one day.I know.:)
    TayTay - Sensational.And she lives in South Africa.What more do ya need?!
    The Narcissist Narcissism is definitely good when it's this funny!
    Zeba - How could I not?!Her writing is something I'd back-up if there were an Internet apocalypse.

    Answer me!
    I think some of you don't do the whole blog-awards thingamajig.If so,you're allowed to answer in the comments.
    1. Sweatpants or jeans?
    2. Your reaction when you get caught in the rain without an umbrella.
    3. The phone's ringing, someone just rang the doorbell, the baby is crying and the tap is overflowing. In which order would you tackle these?
    4. Something you absolutely cannot bear and something you love in a person.
    5. Coolest job ever according to you?
    6. One thing on your bucket list.
    7. Pirates or ninjas? Why?
    8. Current ear-worm or stuck-in-my-head song.
    9. How many kids(if any) do you want to have?
    10.Is Pluto a planet according to you?
    11.What would you rather be doing now?

    Yeah and before I forget, Happy Valentine's Day to all of you celebrating it and if you're not… 

    That's for you Mark!
    Keep smiling!:)

    P.S. I just realised I haven't done anything about the badge that all of you I tagged are to get.
    Thing is: I don't know.
    Experienced bloggers...HALP!!!
    I don't plan to hang my award anywhere on my blog but for those of you who are, go select one from here.Have fun.
    And DISCLAIMER: All credit to Google.
    Yeah Google, I've linked you right there.No lawsuits kay.
    Thursday, 31 January 2013

    I am a Child of Piracy**

    Note:  This post might have nothing to do with the title.So if you're here looking for arguments to use against software pirates or something,you're at the wrong place mate!
    And this post has a lot of unnecessary rambling which I was too proud of to edit but you’re free to skip paragraphs any time you feel like it’s getting boring and you won’t be missing anything. But I'll love you if you do manage to read the whole thing...*insert cute smile* or at least my best impression of cute...which ain’t very cute actually!
    On with it!

    I've run out of ideas.
    The problem is nothing, I repeat, nothing I come up with is original, and every single thing is copied inspired by something or someone else.
    I'm tired of constantly waking up and rooting through thoughts, words, actions, newspapers, books, movies, YouTube videos and everything under the sun for something I can talk about.
    I surprise myself at times.
    I have these weird slow motion visions in my head a lot these days.
    I’ll be doing something, and all of a sudden, everything slows down and becomes ultra minute and clear and I’ll have writery phrases pop into my head to describe those...
    For example:
    Walking home after college:
    Looking at a girl with a pretty looking tan on her face...sun kissed.
    Which makes me...sun f**ked.

    125 Fantastic Gifs To Stare At When You're High
    Me...normally.Now you also stare...stare...stare.
    I have a thing for beautiful people.
    I’ll sometimes see this pretty person on a road or bus or train and I want to go up to them, tap their shoulder and tell them, “You know you’re gorgeous right?!” and in my head write a post describing them using Victorian phrases.

    While making an omelette:
    Eggs are the most forgiving things on earth because however badly you splatter them while pouring; they’ll always heal while cooking.
    Didn't someone say there’s a lesson to be learnt in everything?

    Heck even when I'm reading something for crying out loud:
    I begin reading. Each word on the screen clamouring for my attention. Begin from the beginning. Milking each sentence for all it is worth.
    I've never read this carefully before...sifting every sentence for layers or hidden meanings. Funny because I've never been a carefully-read kinda person.

    You know you've hit rock bottom when you contemplate writing a blog-post on why you love the word ‘f**k’.
    No kidding. This is how far I got:
    Four letters. One syllable. This word has captured the imagination of everyone...and I love it.
    I love the relief that comes with just yelling f**k...unparalleled. Except by maybe a few other cuss words. But I prefer this one. It’s pretty clear and unambiguous. And mostly everyone understands it.

    This can be irritating. Since every single time I have to quickly run and grab something to record this on or I lose the train of thought.
    Or it could possibly be what is called 'Getting an Idea'.
    Yeah, I know. Certified crazy I am.

    Back to why I can’t think of anything to write.
    Keeping with the ‘ I'm a copycat pirate’ title here’s an extract from Gone Girl by Gillian Flynn.
    She is the kind of author who would capture your imagination and keep it in a tin box next to her bed and you’d only be glad for that... didn't stretch that too far did I?

    The Definitive "Blown Away" Reaction Gifs
    Me,after reading Gone Girl.

    She shakes up a lot. I didn't know WHAT to think after reading this book. 

    For several years, I had been bored. Not a whining, restless child’s boredom (although I was not above that) but a dense, blanketing malaise. It seemed to me that there was nothing new to be discovered ever again. Our society was utterly, ruinously derivative (although the word derivative as a criticism is itself derivative). We were the first human beings who would never see anything for the first time. We stare at the wonders of the world, dull-eyed, underwhelmed. Mona Lisa, the Pyramids, the Empire State Building. Jungle animals on attack, ancient icebergs collapsing, volcanoes erupting. I can’t recall a single amazing thing I have seen first-hand that I didn't immediately reference to a movie or TV show. A fucking commercial. You know the awful singsong of the blasé: Seeeen it. I've literally seen it all, and the worst thing, the thing that makes me want to blow my brains out, is: The second-hand experience is always better. The image is crisper, the view is keener, the camera angle and the soundtrack manipulate my emotions in a way reality can’t any more  I don’t know that we are actually human at this point, those of us who are like most of us, who grew up with TV and movies and now the Internet. If we are betrayed, we know the words to say; when a loved one dies, we know the words to say. If we want to play the stud or the smart-ass or the fool, we know the words to say. We are all working from the same dog-eared script.
    It’s a very difficult era in which to be a person, just a real, actual person, instead of a collection of personality traits selected from an endless automat of characters.
    And if all of us are play-acting, there can be no such thing as a soul mate, because we don’t have genuine souls.
    It had gotten to the point where it seemed like nothing matters, because I'm not a real person and neither is anyone else.
    I would have done anything to feel real again.

    And the song I'm humming these days:
    If you’re YouTube maniacs like I am, you might be familiar with the viral video called Numa Numa, this is the live version by O Zone(Yeah,they're a boy-band.What better way to get into the One Direction spirit of things!). And the language is Romanian, you’ll want to know after watching it.

    P.S. And I know what you’re thinking right now...

    That, dear reader, is what happens when my brain goes into overdrive...I start thinking too much and too little all at once.
    And why did I subject you to that?
    Well...I have no answer. Other than the oft-quoted Writer’s block...but hopefully you’ll be back next time for more craziness and not file a lawsuit against me...trust me to exaggerate.
    Oh well!
    Have a fantastic February! :)
    Also today’s the two month birthday of my blog!
    Let's Partayy!

    **And the title's pirated too.From here!
    See,I'm the piratingest pirate that ever lived...as long as my pirate is Johnny Depp or Orlando Bloom!:)
    And I did get the results from those exams I mentioned somewhere before and let me just say the marks make me want to start a protest march against the board's correction system!