Wednesday, 17 October 2012

Regrets & Ravings

Things I regret:
1.    Not having learnt music when I was younger.
2.    Not having used sunscreen and picking scabs (that have now become horrible stains which wont go way...Keep this in mind all you girls reading this!) in my childhood.
3.    Having become too close with Roy (that was once upon a time but still). It wouldnt be wrong if you thought that I regret this because I lost my ice-princess fame because of Roy or else Id still have been the great, different, separated, on-a-different-plane girl I was then!
4.    Getting that ATKT in my second year
5.    All the times I didn't behave well, did wrong just for the heck of it, and made way for the devil to blacken my already horrible heavenly track record.
6.    All my sins.
7.    Not having been more athletic when I was younger.

I really wish I had gone for ballet or horse riding or something, dammit...I feel now that I have wasted a whole 18 years of a life learning nothing except how to understand story plots.

I didn't even write seriously, something I have potential in.
It seems like I spent the most impressionable of my life doing nothing but see and hear...and read...what a waste.

I seem to spend a lot of time wishing I had done things these days.
Maybe I have a chronic jealousy disease or something, but whenever I fall in love with somebody's talent (sometimes even them in the bargain!) I start envying them and cursing me and badmouthing them in the end (case of sour grapes).

Reading Yanni's biography can make anybody jealous though, he had everything I wish I had...A Beautiful talent(which he took pains to develop),a hunky physique and one of the most emulation-worthy set of parents Ive known, and one of the worlds most beautiful places to call home, Greece.
If that wont make you jealous, what will?
But then, in the end, even hes a person, a single soul among a billion others, and doesnt believe in God so hes pushed away the one support system he could have had...
But he says hes got an intimate relation with God, more personal than anything else so he is suspicious of anyone telling him about saving his soul(which is exactly what we preach...a personal relationship with God, but I guess people might have made it sound ritualistic to him. Dont laugh, its possible).
Whatever the situation might be, hes one person I want to see in heaven (not only because of his music (though its glorious), because I like the person he is).

Gosh, I definitely am mad, talking about a world-renowned artist who is old now, (and hot! Yep, even I dint know I could fall for old men!), as though hes the person next-door!
Anyway, you really should read the book, its wonderful...the life story of a wonderful musician and a good book as well.

So I guess I'll wind this up here with this perfectly fitting quote I found in One Day at a Time by William MacDonald:

Of all the words of tongue or pen, the saddest are, It might have been'.
- Bret Hart

Isn't it nice?!
It might seem like an antithesis to my blog, calling it sad.
But then, only when you take stock of your past and understand what you would like to change, will you be able to build a wonderful future!
Ciao then!
Your loving,
Lost in grandiose musical dreams Blogger! 


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