Nostalgia

Scene: Today’s bible class and Roy's Dad has just picked a new song.

Situation: I, not knowing the song, mumble along but hear Ma singing. She sounds old now with her voice cracking a little...Ammachi (grandmother in Malayalam)....ha-ha...not funny actually, I’d hate to see my ma so old. I want her to remain the way she is now, forever(well, maybe excluding the jelly belly and stray grey hair and wrinkles. For her own good).

(Mom and dad listening to Usha Uthup now...that woman is something else!

Confidence and happiness and magnanimity just leak from her...and somehow she reminds me of Sister Ann!)

Scene: Jo on a visit and walks into the meeting with that gangly grin of his.

Situation: Gets me thinking about times past...SSC exams...all those laughs...my innocence. Not understanding all dose undercurrents and double meanings behind people’s words (yep...me a late bloomer!).

Scene: Rachel and Elizabeth playing.

I love the innocence of these children(they're three and seven years old respectively). They’re just so...pure. So perfect. So pristine...in their hearts (and bodily as well. they have the best potential to developing the perfect model-bodies ever. Fair skinned. Toned. Clear, without a mark. I envy them), the way everything is written and can be seen on their faces.

The crystal clearness of things to them...either Black or White. Good or Bad. No Grey areas. No subtle layers and hints to their words. No trying to guess what the other person is thinking. No keeping grudges. No sleeping unhappy.

I think the world would only be a better place if adults had the nature of babes (that’s babies, NOT girls!).

That’s why Innocence is so sought after. No donkey-like Dumbness, I mean Innocence...the state of mind where you look into a pile of filth and only see the goodness shining through.

Stuff I miss about my childhood:

1.    The Innocence:

The bliss of ignorance...of not knowing the things I know today...the negativity and all the evil.

2.    Daddy’s Girl:

This was fun! I was dada’s favourite girl, I combed my hair like dada, took bath like dada, liked what dada liked and rebelled against anything that dada didn't like (sometimes that meant mama). Now that place is for my brother. Before it was so hard relinquishing that title...I hated it.

Slowly, it has fallen into place...the ‘Eldest Daughter’ instead of ‘Successor’. I still do miss it at times but I think I have been compensated for it by the new-found relationship with mummy.

3.    That feeling of ‘My parents, The Best’:

Don’t know if ma and dad feel it too, but my parents (especially dad) were my heroes before (sometimes still are). Always right, Never wrong. For most people, this knowledge erodes over time like mountains, one chip at a time. First, you feel they’re wrong at little things and then that they know nothing but then again think they know something and finally (when you have kids of your own, you salute them for what they did!)

4.    The Lack of Self-Consciousness:

I miss this. A lot. I'm one of those girls who hate the little fixations that come with being a girl: Learning to be modest, keeping my legs crossed, adjusting a dupatta, staying sweat-free and toned...all that.

But before, I just wasn't aware of all this but then, at the magical age of 12,my ma had this sudden idea that I should behave like a girl...wash my own underwear, check all the sweat stains, it was difficult. I'm shameless maybe,  saying all this, But until then, I had never given a thought to these things and so had a hard time adjusting; Learning to preen, pout and pirouette (not really, the words just sounded so good together and the first two things, I haven’t learnt yet and don’t think I ever will!)

Before, it was just bindass...look at those small girls happily drawing away on the floor with their drawers showing! Do they care? Not a bit! (Maybe the zealous mother does!)

5.    The Lack of Greed:

I can’t remember any time before the age of 12 that I asked my parents for clothes or gadgets or pianos...anything I ask for now...the highest amount I hoped to get was Rs. 20...you got a packet of Lays™ for that...Heaven!

There never were any arguments about money then...sigh.

What I craved for most was books, to be read, to be written in, anything and stationery...ahh. I was a total hog freak...it has stayed but now its digital stuff (books, movies, music!).

6.    The Clearness and Honesty:

I miss the clarity of relationships outside my family too, the friends. The foes. The guys. The girls.

We, in the society wouldn't have to be worried about the groups of ‘-ists’ movements prevalent today, all born out of feelings of inadequacy and misunderstanding in people’s hearts, if we all had children’s hearts. Children just don’t feel that way...when looking at a boy, children don’t see a potential bf, groom, or whatever, and so avoiding all the flirting, and hinting and pouting and falseness...I miss that. Terribly.

Now, I'm afraid to open my mouth for fear of saying something wrong (still doesn't stop me) and the fear not being accepted....trying to change myself so that I can fit into the brackets made for me by society; I do my hair, painfully exercise (that’s for my own good as well, I know), try to look pretty, put on stupid airs, not talk to someone because someone didn't talk to me...do all the stupid things I have to do.

Comparatively, the souls in The Host(Stephenie Meyer's other-than-Twilight novel) had this super policy: Live and let Live (that they did this by being parasites and stealing human bodies is another matter), but still, I can’t help being fascinated by the goodness of it all...no fights, just trust.

Lobbying for a Utopian world isn't going to change anything I know, but just shouting it out feels good!

Bye then.

P.S. You might have noticed that my entries these days are of a more personal nature. You might not like it and I apologize if you don’t but if you do, thank you!

Leave a comment!
Please please do...

The Long & The Short

This idea is a continuation from an older blog but is a nice topic for a bit of chitchat and writing stuff down red-hot is the best way to preserve them so here goes...

I've just been reading The Host and I'm loving it!

After a long spell of self-imposed adult-novel reading, a heart pumping YA novel is just the thing to lift your spirits!

The problem with the novels I call adult novels is not that don’t have content...they do. Life of Pi and Lolita all had good, real, genuine stories to tell.

Not that they didn't have romance and passion, far from it, they had all that and more...and being 'adult' books gives them the freedom of including s** scenes, all the more masaledaar for being an adult novel!

Not that the characters aren't relatable to...they are...I liked Pi Patel, Saleem(Midnight's Children) and the rest of them...

Then what is?

I'll try explaining...the thing about YA stories is the delicious immediacy...you don’t have to wait forever for the hero and heroine to fall in love and kiss, for the villain to die, for the climax to come and so, for the happily-ever-after ending to come(sometimes not-so- happily-ever-after).

Hey and that doesn't mean I like my books short, no siree, even if I don’t reach the climax soon, I at least have something or the other happening in the story(I think that’s what makes short stories popular. Less to read and more happening)unlike a typical piece of so-called ‘Great Literary Fiction’ that tends to dwell for immensely long periods of time on something normally insignificant like a falling leaf...

I'm not saying that books ought to be the type of Tony-is-a-boy-Tony-goes-to-school type of fare meant for toddlers either, all I'm saying is that spending inconsiderate amounts of time on trivial things doesn't mean a book should classified great...that would make Literature the joke that Art had/has become, where a few squiggles made by a toddler is considered great painting.

It simply doesn't work that way...

All I'm saying is the greatness of a work of Writing (or Literature), shouldn't be judged on its grandiose words or length or so called 'intellectual' content (which is just psychological tosh and a posh way of saying ‘boring’!), but on its content and ability of drawing you into the story and making you empathize with its characters.

That, for me, is the mark of a great book.

Time for a list!

How I Know When A Book Is A Good Book:

1. When I cry, out of sadness, joy, frustration, empathy, whatever...it has to be good to make me cry...tears are precious after all!

2. When I laugh...crying is fine (even All the Best (pathetic excuse of a Bollywood movie if you didn't know!) made me cry) but only a truly great book can make you laugh. Laugh at the characters’ predicaments, thoughts, words, actions, anything!

Think: Roald Dahl...gawsh, he was one terrific author.

3. When I think and sometimes act on what I read. Anne Frank was one such writer. I don’t call her my writing-defining author for nothing; her diary was/is one of the most relatable books I’ve ever read.

4. When I empathise, sometimes wish I were the character in question. Ok, confession: I'm guilty of having wished I could be Bella and try to undo some of the dumb situations she got herself into (Sorry dear Twilight haters!)

5. When I learn stuff and try doing them for real. This happens with most books whose writers have a better vocabulary than I have but whenever I learn a new word, phrase, or tone of speech or mannerism I like, I usually end up liking that book.

Phrase watch: Laissez faire

Sentence use:

The new presidential nominee should lobby for a laissez faire system of government, but that would be like trying to enforce a utopian world!

Note: I do not know if that sentence is correct!

Till then, Adieu!

Trivials

The title might sound like the name of a box of mini sized chocolates (Mars™, Bounty™, Milky Way™) which our NRI relatives get us, but this is a compilation of little things you notice about a person when you have lived with them for long (like when you’re married!).So for lack of a better subject idea, Welcome to my world:

Trivials are the things that you notice people thinking about, or doing or saying or anything-ing if you've been running a surveillance on them for a year or so(The Case Of The Missing Servant) and they’re generally classified quirks(the more noticeable ones).

Like Shrek in Shrek Forever After to Fiona: "You sleep by candlelight; you scrunch your nose up when wishing..."

I can’t list everything now, so I’ll keep adding to this list as I remember the other ones!

1.  Cold water is something I absolutely love, especially when you get home tired and sweaty from the great outdoors. It’s a lifesaver...truly the verse about giving a cup of cold water is very true!
2.  Clean feet and hands: For a person who is otherwise piggish, I have an allergy to dirty soles and palms. Maybe it’s the constant cream-ing(If you didn't know, I have extremely dry skin so I always have to moisturise myself(that’s 24/7). Vaseline™ should hire me as their brand ambassador!)...I'm curiously cat-like in this matter.
3.  Superficial hubby qualities: I've wanted to write this down for a long time and a blog named Trivials was not what I had in mind but this might seem trivial to most people so here goes...
       I wanted my husband to be taller, a little darker or my shade in skin colour and more toned and muscled than me.
       Also, I want him to be educated...not in the customary sense of the world though even that’s important, I mean knowledgeable and I want him to have plenty of bravery and common sense too,(My knight in shining armour!)
       Small list don’t you think?!

4.  Flattering but not ground-worshipping works on me: One good way to get me is praise! I love a well meant compliment but the imitation style of flattery only irritates me.

5.  Succulent is kind of s**y: I do have a thing about words yet I don’t know why, but this word is somewhat seductive (Eww, I totally hated saying that).

     Don’t know why but I seem to find Anoop Menon of Beautiful attractive, it’s a good movie as well. (Yep...this girl has gone officially crazy and writing this down is only re-enforcing this! Maybe I ought to stop?)
6.  I like mixed colours, gypsy-style and black, white and grey combination patterns, but if I'm asked about favourite colours, I answer white and gold. (Take note everybody who is going to get me clothes!)
7.  Pull-Push glass doors confuse me: This is what I could actually call a triviality in this whole entry. Every time I see a glass door without (sometimes even with) a tag, I have to stand there a few seconds and consider whether to pull or push it to get in!
8.  Fancy dinners make me self-conscious: Throughout these pages, I've always claimed to be an Anglophile, yet...
      I think it would be the fear of unseen but educated, should-be-impressed and all-noticing persons seeing me make a faux pas in formal table manners so taking me out to dinner isn't really a very good way to patao-fy me unless you don’t mind me being uncomfortable on the inside throughout the meal (some boorish males wouldn't I suppose...Please Note: I didn't take any names!)
9.  Love making Musical :Not very appropriate for me to say but it is a wish of mine to make love with music in the background(preferably Yanni)and none of those porky sounding grunts and groans,(as depicted in Bhatt movies and gal pal’s descriptions, no porn for me.),glorious!(and painful according to eM.)
10.Pen-pencils (That's what they are called here!): These pen-pencils were a rage when I was smaller and I love them! The way you can just push the old led under and see a brand-new sharpened led poke out...Sweet!
11.I don't eat oranges the normal way,instead I first delicately separate the segments and then open them up to get to the juice-filled bubbles inside.
       Citrus crazy!

Phrase watch: Method to madness

In a sentence: (Another Yanni tribute...the last one I promise!)

People didn't notice it until it was too late, but there was always method to the musical virtuoso's madness. (In this case, non-conformist music, hair, and white clothes...though all these have mostly disappeared now...sudhar gaya!)

The Metamorphosis

This essay was written in the wake of a sudden flash of inspiration while on the pot (I mean it!); As for calling it ‘essay’, I don’t think this can exactly be called a blog entry and I could think of nothing better than the title of Franz Kafka’s book,(Thank you sir!).

These are some other titles that I thought of:

You’re Small, Keep Quiet: A Kid’s Point of View.

Being Politically Correct in an Adult World. (Sounds like Nathaniel’s book in Enchanted, right?)

On with it...

I turned 18 recently, thus joining the society of ‘adults’. And now, life is very different from the off-handed approach I took to people, friends, activities and life in general when I was a kid, when good things did not come with strings attached, when you could speak your mind without being afraid it would make you look like a crazy loon in the other persons’ eyes. (I empathize with Maurice in Beauty and the Beast.)

Now, everything has become more serious, more important, having an effect on my future (though if it’s anything like now then it’s a seriously bleak and boring prospect).

Everything I do has a motive, a purpose...

Why are you studying? To get a job.

Why get a job? To earn.

Why earn? To have all the material comforts I need and get a well-paid husband.

How will you get him? By being physically, financially, morally (in the eyes of society) and everything-ly perfect.

Now, I have people looking up to me, namely: Kids calling me chechi (elder sister) not by name, shopkeepers calling me madam not baby (that’s lass in Mumbai and is pronounced like be-bi!) and a feeling that the society goddess (the one who keeps everyone’s societal track record and his/her image before other men (and women because I'm feminist, well, sort of)) is always keeping an eye on me, seeing what I'm doing, waiting for me to make a social blunder thus tarnishing my image.

Now, I have to keep up with everyone’s expectations of me. Trade imagination for practicality...I guess that’s why true virtuosos in most arts always shun society, (no excuse to lock yourself away in a darkened room and play maniacal mournful tunes on the piano...note to self!)

It’s because they're unfettered souls, straining against the invisible but strong spider web society has spun to keep in check the minds of people...that does sound lyrical!

Time for a poem...

What I want to do, I cannot do,

Because of what mummy says to me,

Be a good girl now, you've grown up you see.

Now you must learn to cook and preen and knead and dress,

Pick up your stuff and even clean others’ mess,

Because you've grown up you see.

One day, my dear, you'll have to pick your Prince Charming-like husband,

Who'll take you away to his house and give you new in-laws who, you might think treat you like a servant,

There are other things too (which a too R-rated to mention here!).

And you'll have to grin and bear them all....

But through all these experiences remember your God's child and my little baby doll!

But watch me; I'm a free bird,

I'll do what I want to do, go where I want, see what I want to,

And learn things for myself instead of learning them all from aunties who say, ‘Never do!'

I'll be successful one day, I pray,

And be myself all through the way!

Afterthought:

This sounds like the kind of song you’d see in a Disney movie with Julie Andrews as the mother and the typical doe-eyed English beauty playing the daughter. Hee hee. I'm a scriptwriter now!

I miss the clear-cut direct straightforwardness from before (Read: childhood). Now, you never know how a simple act or word of yours will be interpreted. Everything has two (possibly more) meanings.

After the LGBT wave, two girls holding hands is seen, not as a sweet symbol of friendship, but as a sign that those girls might be lesbian. How successfully society has managed to fool us. By deluding man into thinking he's developing (when he is in fact only narrowing his already boxed-in mind), she, (Goddess, remember?), has played us for fools and now instead of getting better as he grows older, man is getting more and more narrow minded and this will go on till the day when he has nowhere to move, a societal straightjacket....

I only hope more people realize this before all goes to ruin.

I've definitely become one of those the-world-is-ending people now!

But I mean what I say. Shouldn't humanity be progressing as the years go by instead of worsening day after day and coming to an end as described in The Bible?

It’s something to think about...

Mirror, Mirror On the Wall

I remember this comic strip in Archie where Archie is shown through the eyes of his family and friends: he’s a baby for his mom, a Casanova in his dad’s eyes, knight-in-shining-armour for Betty, melted puddle to Veronica, himself (with a Jughead-ish nose) to Jughead and most importantly, after all this, he says only he himself sees himself as he is....a beefy hunk!

Har har.

Jok (ey) ing apart (hee hee), I actually feel empathy for Archie after the bathroom incident and Bub's comment ('Look I've got sweat stains just like you'. Wounded. Pride.).

When I look into a mirror (and I feel s**y), I see this buxom lass with a nut-brown face and creamy body...all smooth. The tummy, thighs, and upper arms (all the problem areas) could do with a little shaping. Otherwise, I'm physically fine to myself.

But if I'm in the throes of self-hatred, then God help. All my ranting about why I hate myself begin...my fat tummy, thighs and things, my excess melanin, pimples, moles, hair, sweatiness...never ending(that’s when I envy these actresses).

I just love this phrase: Arms akimbo

Use in sentence: Mako stood under the coconut tree arms akimbo to catch the ripe coconut that was going to fall any minute on his landlord’s head to try to get off from paying that month's lease for saving his landlord’s life. This continued until his landlord noticed him standing in a 'saviour of the world' pose and caught him!

(I'm a literature major now! Emotionally Weird has been helpful in this matter showing me the dark underbelly of the world of literature and philosophy majors as opposed to the normal perceptions of their colleges being liberal and easy going. As for the book, it’s good, detailed and occasionally funny too and somewhat comic throughout. My only gripe is that it’s too stretched out; I wouldn't have been able to read the whole book a few years ago (even now I'm taking it in small doses).

But this is not what I wanted to say, I wanted to tell you about the strange case of the girl who play-acts before the bathroom mirror!

Does that sound funny enough? Or should I modify it??

Forget it. Yes, so Yanni’s Aria was on that day when I was in the bathroom and it’s the best possible music to pretend you’re a Roman princess to, I tell you!

You should have seen me...eyebrow stylishly (and saucily) cocked, entreating my cruel father king Herod to release the foreign prisoners. My grief when he disagreed, my indignation at being refused and my pity for the imprisoned...

Then I boldly disguising myself to fight the king...and the hot foreign prisoner catching me escaping and then we spar with words and flirty expressions...

I got there and had to stop to have bath.

Think that funny? There are so many more....I once had Edward of Twilight fall in love with me...I mean Robert Pattinson(the guy looks good though I refuse to recognize the caricature they ,made of him(and everybody else) in that terrible excuse of a movie called Twilight)...the person not the vampire...even that play-act had a lot of I'm-flirting-with-you expressions and wordplay (mostly on the guy's part...in my stories, I'm the hot and elegant ice-princess with the cheeky replies and nose in the air whom guys still want to date (Yep...what I'm so not in real life!!Stories ARE the antithesis of real life!))

But isn't it a scary and comforting thought at the same time that, whom we see in the mirror isn't how we actually look on the outside but who we want to be on the inside?

So all the times I've been happy about how I look were just delusions and all the times I was sad about it was just more illusion...anybody else feel cheated?

I've been spending these exam days exercising, Yanni-ing (glorious!) and having epiphanies (don’t you just love that word!).All nice, but not very productive...

Funny, I found a makeshift mirror on the terrace today...had a good long look at me. Didn't like what I saw, I've lost any hint of s**y hips I had, and my butt is LOW.

I am an unsatisfied girl.

Got to go!

Review: I sound totally self-obsessed and superficial here...have to set another tone for future blogs. 

 And if anybody thought the less of me for endorsing Twilight(I'm talking about my adult, Twilight-is-trash readers here. If there are any Twilight lovers reading this, I mean no offence to you whatsoever because I was one among you too!) , rest your thudding hearts darlings, I'm so out of that phase and into the brand-new grown stage of adult-novel reading but I might have minor relapses when I want my stories to go faster and generally have a bit of good old fashioned laughter!

That rhymed…

But it’s a nice topic for a blog!

Regrets & Ravings

Things I regret:

1.    Not having learnt music when I was younger.

2.    Not having used sunscreen and picking scabs (that have now become horrible stains which won’t go way...Keep this in mind all you girls reading this!) in my childhood.

3.    Having become too close with Roy (that was once upon a time but still). It wouldn’t be wrong if you thought that I regret this because I lost my ice-princess fame because of Roy or else I’d still have been the great, different, separated, on-a-different-plane girl I was then!

4.    Getting that ATKT in my second year

5.    All the times I didn't behave well, did wrong just for the heck of it, and made way for the devil to blacken my already horrible heavenly track record.

6.    All my sins.

7.    Not having been more athletic when I was younger.

I really wish I had gone for ballet or horse riding or something, dammit...I feel now that I have wasted a whole 18 years of a life learning nothing except how to understand story plots.

I didn't even write seriously, something I have potential in.

It seems like I spent the most impressionable of my life doing nothing but see and hear...and read...what a waste.

I seem to spend a lot of time wishing I had done things these days.

Maybe I have a chronic jealousy disease or something, but whenever I fall in love with somebody's talent (sometimes even them in the bargain!) I start envying them and cursing me and badmouthing them in the end (case of sour grapes).

Reading Yanni's biography can make anybody jealous though, he had everything I wish I had...A Beautiful talent(which he took pains to develop),a hunky physique and one of the most emulation-worthy set of parents I’ve known, and one of the world’s most beautiful places to call home, Greece.

If that won’t make you jealous, what will?

But then, in the end, even he’s a person, a single soul among a billion others, and doesn’t believe in God so he’s pushed away the one support system he could have had...

But he says he’s got an intimate relation with God, more personal than anything else so he is suspicious of anyone telling him about saving his soul(which is exactly what we preach...a personal relationship with God, but I guess people might have made it sound ritualistic to him. Don’t laugh, it’s possible).

Whatever the situation might be, he’s one person I want to see in heaven (not only because of his music (though it’s glorious), because I like the person he is).

Gosh, I definitely am mad, talking about a world-renowned artist who is old now, (and hot! Yep, even I dint know I could fall for old men!), as though he’s the person next-door!

Anyway, you really should read the book, it’s wonderful...the life story of a wonderful musician and a good book as well.

So I guess I'll wind this up here with this perfectly fitting quote I found in One Day at a Time by William MacDonald:

Of all the words of tongue or pen, the saddest are, ‘It might have been'.

- Bret Hart

Isn't it nice?!

It might seem like an antithesis to my blog, calling it sad.

But then, only when you take stock of your past and understand what you would like to change, will you be able to build a wonderful future!

Ciao then!

Your loving,

Lost in grandiose musical dreams Blogger! 

Things I Can't Do (Now!)

Ok, I've been wanting to right this for sometime but whenever this idea popped into my head, it would diverge into other self-deprecatory thought-streams, but I managed to hold on this time and here we are!

(The list is kind of short now, I'll add things as I go on in life!)

1.    Tie a plait or a braid or a pigtail.(All mean the same thing!)

2.    Cook(Not even make tea. I mean I know how to theoretically but not practically so basically, I can't cook!).

3.    Drive a scooty, or car or any motorized vehicle actually. I get scared about the vehicle running away. And it's not that I've not tried. I did. Didn't work. Story in my diary.

4.    Stay on a diet and exercise regime. I have terrible willpower.

5.    Whistle…Gosh, foo foo is all that comes out.

6.    Enjoy in a water park(or any park. or party. or anywhere where humans tend to congregate and dance and let their hair down. Inherent Indian Introvert-ness (I coined that!)). I have a drowning phobia though I still manage pretty well by bobbing up and down throughout the length of the pool but throwing myself down a water slide(or any slide for that matter),NO WAY.

7.    Dance. I have two left feet and left hands too probably. I have like a jangly giraffe when I have to dance, feeling ungraceful and envious of other gracefully dancing humans on the floor eats me up inside and freeze my already frozen feet.

8.    Sing, in tune at least. I would have been good, were it not for my self-esteem(and financial) issues which stopped me at a young age.

9.    Study sincerely...at least in my studies during term time. During exams, my posterior (The antonym is anterior!) heats up enough to worry me and I study!(There, you have the secret of my success!)

P.S. Diphthong is the best word in the English language currently!

Emotional Atyachar

The title was borrowed off a colloquial(Nice word!) phrase which was turned into a song in Dev D, Not very meaningful but if the cap fits why take it off?!

This idea had occurred to me before so it was just a matter of making hay while the sun shined, so from the throes of a saddened heart (You’ll see why) comes the following:

1.     Pure Elation:

I’m not in throes of Extreme Happiness now but this is just a note. This emotion is expected tomorrow but not very excited about (I should be, it is my birthday!).Anyway, this emotion is totally one of the most elusive and sought after (Through clothes, Facebook, hoarding, thievery, whatever) like Felix Felicis (The potion in Harry Potter!)

But there is nothing like it once you have it. You feel lighter and younger and your tummy and heart give excited little squeezes in between.

If it is of the stronger variety, you feel you’re walking on air...

Yes, people in love experience all these symptoms and the effects continue as long as the subject is in the company of the object of love. It is known to fade in most cases after a certain length of time called the 'honeymoon period' but in extremely rare cases it remains as long as the couple is together. Recommended to be experienced at least once in a lifetime.

This emotion is experienced in various other situations too but for a shorter duration and with less dramatic symptoms but the joy remains the same nevertheless!

2.    Medium Happiness:

Could sometimes be called Fake Happiness(The symptoms can be replicated easily hence comes in handy when you want to fake it like when you're jealous!)

This emotion causes one to smile (Ranging from a 32-tooth display (If you’re a clown) or polite little lip-curving in between), sometimes jump around a bit and its effects last for short periods of around a minute to a day (That is, for yourself. If you are happy for another person or thing, the period every time you meet that person or see that object).

So, this happiness can be sometimes called a Residual Shared Happiness because it usually is when you’re sharing or being a part of someone else's pure elation (Sometimes sharing it can make you super happy too).

3.     Ashamed Happiness:

Is seen especially when you have to share in someone’s extreme grief out of duty when you're happy (More on sharing grief below).

Or you’re happy at someone’s misfortune (Which is a very bad thing to do, but might happen unavoidably; like when you and your friend both wanted the first rank in class).The proper reaction would be to comfort the other person and never rub your own happiness in their faces (Happens a lot, I know...make them read this!)

Symptoms would be a smile threatening to plaster itself over your face and you controlling your urge, turning it into a grimace (Ideally you should use your handkerchief) or this constant fluttering in your tummy while you shake your head sorrowfully or comfort the other person.

Experience: Hasn't happened much something I remember at the moment would be when I scored the highest at school, people would be jostling me jovially and I’d be explaining lessons to someone who failed so it would be uncomfortable (Not) to react, I’d be happy inside and quickly suppressing my success not to sadden the unfortunate girl (Needless to say my besties always caught me!)

4.     Extreme Sadness:

Your heart starts throbbing painfully and feels so sad that you feel you’ll just shrivel up and die and sometimes wish you could. Meanwhile your eyes start streaming and get all puffy...

Reason: For trying to be funny and laugh at daddy’s posh English...needless to say, it backfired. And here I am a sorry soggy faced lumpy girl on the eve of her eighteenth birthday.

P.S. In Retrospect: I needn't have over-reacted.

5.    Selfish Teary Sadness:

You know you've received more than you deserve and hoped for and your parents can afford yet this sick germ of self pity in you makes you so sad for yourself and you cry, you don’t want to but you do and this germ makes you so teary that people end up seeing you all weepy and then you tell them in this crying voice why. Gosh...nothing's worse and embarrassing....I mean who wants to admit they’re crying because they didn't get baby pink shoes instead of bright pink ones?

Reason: I got two pairs of jeans today. More than I hoped for, but they’re not branded...so silly me started crying about how cheap poor me has become...no good dresses when everyone has nice things and all.

I mean, I know daddy cannot afford it...my fees aren’t paid yet...still...stupid me.

P.S. This type of reaction is not expected from those rich-daddies’ precious daughters(No offense meant whatsoever)who have the full right to shed precious saline H20 over their eagerly awaited Gucci’s turning out to be cream instead of ecru!

6.    Medium Sadness:

Similar to Medium Happiness, seen when you share in someone else's grief...effects range in the same limits as before:

Short or up to a day or every time you meet that person or see that object reminding you of it.

Medium Sadness should never be twisted and turned to resemble extreme grief because the person's actions will reek of falseness and is tasteless...Show what you actually feel in cases where this kind of grief is seen in public and help the person in pain(Physical or Mental).They need it.

Reason : I have undergone this type of emotion often but a memorable event would have been Len's mom's funeral...I'm not sure if even saying this is in very good taste, Anyway, I was very saddened about aunty going away definitely but another person’s true grief doesn't spread to you much though the aura of grief does. I'm not saying aunty going away didn't make a difference to me and I don’t care but I couldn't cry and beat my chest, there simply wasn't enough sadness for that(And we don’t have to display all that grief in public unlike some other communities anyway) so I tried my best to help Len come out of it and on that day tried to share in the family’s sorrow and help as much as I could.

7.    Little Sadness and Little Joy:

Interchangeable, because, in my case, I'm incapable of these unless I'm in a bored, listless and melancholic mood(which is often enough).Happens when you have a very small ,possibly negligible happiness (Any good happening to you should not be taken for granted of course however small it is, Count your blessings!) or sadness. You don’t take it very much to heart or anything, just acknowledge them, sometimes say a word of thanks for it and you’re out of the emotional cycle.

In case of small sadness, They could be triggered by very small happenings common to everybody like not getting the paper on time, This emotion is not very great on its own but leaves a bad aura in the mind like a sudden smell of shit in an otherwise normal train journey (Think Dharavi!) which can prove to be a trigger for more obsessing over sadness and lead to something bigger....

Ok...since all the biggest parts are out of the way...it is time for a little question.

If all these emotions happen only on certain triggers, which emotion do we experience  most of the time normally?

Answer: I would say that these triggers are happening constantly causing small injections of either a positive or negative emotion, which builds up toward a final state of mind, which leads to a certain output, or reaction, which ascertain the individual’s emotional state for a longer period.

Not all the above might seem to make sense but it has not been copied out of some large, dusty psychology tome I assure you. It is all straight from my heart (and brain!).

Another issue with the article might be that the range of emotions mentioned is tiny compared with what you might get if you Googled 'list-of-emotions’. What I have discussed here is the extreme positive (Happiness) and the extreme negative (Sadness).Every emotion connects to one of these; Yes even anger, which, if you think about it, is a manifestation of sadness, no person is going to get angry if he’s happy...so be careful you don’t ruffle anybody’s feathers or emotions and you’re guaranteed a beautifully happy life!