Saturday, 26 January 2013

One Republic To Go (NO BANANA PLEASE)

*clears throat*
Today,Ladies and Gentlemen,is the 64th Republic Day of India...the day when the constitution of India came into force.And yes,we celebrate that.
And in honour of this wonderful day...blah,who am I kidding?!
*back to gangsta*
Yo peepulz,I have this awesome guest-post by Stutee Nag of Stu(art) who wrote me this phatang(roughly means bombshell) post.
Okay,Introduction time,This chick ain't taking no mess from anyone.She's honest.And bold.And crazy....and my long-lost twin(seriously,you wouldn't believe the number of times I've sat gaping at her blog with what appear to be my thoughts written on it!)
And one of my earliest bloggy friends.And you need to go check her...ahem,her blog, out.
So without further ado,Presenting...

India is my beloved country and All Indians are my brothers and sisters I used to pledge in school and then promptly add except for one under my breath, only to laugh later for a good ten seconds at the funniest joke known to me at that time.
It was real fun - Pledging that way!
But hey, hold your horses. Before you get all judgemental about me, let me clear the air. That was then, I have grown up now and I kid you not, I love India. I might not pledge it every day but hell yeah, I am one proud Indian. And just like you, I associate myself with everything that India feels great about or ahem (gulp- gulp) vice versa (Gang rapes, never ending corruption, Honour Killings etc etc  to name a few.)
2012 ended in a sombre unison. Finally India reflected on its ways and learnt a lesson or two, the hard way of course. They said the world was going to end in 2012 and I was like, yeah right- because God is just that kind. But we did hit a virtual end  didn't we? The lowest of lows were reached and that too khullam khulla.
Okay- enough- I know a lot has been said, written and heard in that regard and since no cribbing happens to be my resolution for the year 2013, so let me just skip past to something happy.
Lets think happy- Ummmmm....ummmm.....
Rahul Gandhi  Tada!
(Because whats happier than the happy ending of the tale of the dynastic prince of the worlds largest democracy ;-) Ironically, this may be the saddest thing I have heard since the unfortunate gang rape episode. Oh no, dont get me wrong - I am not criticizing Rahul Gandhi. Poor chap, he has already earned more flak than Poonam Pandey.
(It is the idea of him that I am criticizing. The idea of someone being crowned the virtual king of the ruling party- even though all he had in the name of credentials  was the GANDHI DNA) He may be a wonderful person (no denying- charming, that he is) - all I am against is this eyewash that us Indians are subjected to in the name of big words like democracy, republic, aam aadmi etc etc.
My point is, call India the princely state of Rahul Gandhi and we are good to go- why the Constitution? Why the Rule of law? Why the whole Dog and Pony show? Those of us studying law will pass the course just like that.
This is how our judiciary exams question paper should look like:
Q.1  - Who is the King of India?
Ans.1  - Rahul Gandhi
Bam! 100/100  theres your degree, young man. Go serve the nation now. (Read: Kingdom) Long live the king. Hail Rahul!
Its a good Idea. Innit? I mean, why slug our asses for all those years  learning the constitution of India (which is by the way the lengthiest in the world)- when a one word answer can get all our problems solved  When, no matter what, everything boils down to the shitty ground reality.The truth of the Modern day Raj.
So what? Let them turn the Gandhis into the present day Royalty of India  hell, if they want they can build Maharaja Rahul his own Taj Mahal  I couldn't care less. Let the elections come and I will not vote for the mamma's boy and then the joke will be on them, I console myself.
I will vote for Narinder Modi instead.
Oh Dear Lord  is this what it feels like to be caught between a rock and a hard place.
Should I get back to Rahul only?
Shit, am I cribbing again?
Hey, wait a second.... I think, I am losing it  I may be going crazy here- there is darkness all around me- i am seeing black dots- is this a condition or a symptom? Black dots every where.. BIG BLACK DOTS- and I am getting claustrophobic too.. No, no, wait- where are you going- dont leave me alone...
We the people, India shining, sovereign, socialist, secular, democratic, republic, Incredible India, Om Prakash Chautala! Khap panchayat! Dented and Painted women! Damad ji! Didi ji! Behen ji! Mayawati! Italian girlfriend! MULAYAM SINGH YADAV! Suresh Kalmadi! Aye Raja! Terrorism! Corruption! Rapes! Gang Rapes ! Imam Sidqqui! Nitin Gadkari! That self proclaimed God man! Cwg! Cvc! Adarsh society! Coalgate!
Woof- woof! Grrr.... growl.... errr.............. beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep.
Oh fuck it! Who am I kidding? I have lost it already.

I am bananas over my republic.

Hey,  Happy Republic Day, by the way!


  1. Yeah, I know Stu(art), I mean I'm following her blog.

    So rightly said.
    I too go bananas over the republic.

    And Happy Republic Day. :)

  2. Wow. I feel like I missed something incredibly significant, because of my lack of understanding regarding... Indian government stuff o.o But somehow, I found it amusing anyway :P

  3. I love the 'phatang!' part. And the 'khullam khulla'. :P

  4. Well if there's still some kind of election going to happen to declare if this guy is the supreme emperor king then you could always vote for the other guy. But try and take what both of them (or all of them) offer before voting. Don't not vote for a guy just because of who he is or how other people treat him, think on what he can actually do. Then forget everything because he's probably been lying.

    Well anyway, I do like India myself actually. You guys have a very rich history and mythos. I loved learning Indian myths as a kid and it's a shame I don't really remember any of them :( India has some downsides, sure, but I think things are beginning to change and hopefully they'll continue to change.

    Happy Republic day.

    P.S sorry about the whole British empire thing.

  5. @ Ajay, Good for you!And yes,Happy Republic Day!:)
    @ LnM, You didn't miss much with regard to the Government(the current one of course,sue me ministers),other than a ton of corruption and drama and stupid decisions and a lot of faked patriotism.But yeah, Indian History is pretty cool.But glad you liked the post!:)
    @ Nasir, Who doesn't??!...;)
    @ Mark, Hopefully,they'll have the no-party option in place by the time the next election rolls around(my very first vote!) so we have the full right to reject candidates we don't like.I suppose that's how it is in the UK.And you needn't be sorry about the British empire part,not your fault!:)

  6. Happy Republic Day Fella'!
    Glad we made it 64 years without turblance.
    The post of your friend was worth it too! :D

  7. Happy Republic day to you as well... :D

  8. @ The Purple Assassin, Totally glad mate...but not exactly turbulence free!Thanks.:)
    @ Zeba & Momina, To you too.Thanks.:)

  9. Happy Republic day :)

    "Woof- woof! Grrr.... growl.... errr.............. beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep." You are now my best friend :P


  10. @Talitha and the rest - hope u had a killer republic day - Sorry Tal, could not write sooner- even though i did intend to do so.. Thanks for the kind "gangsta" words and please o please come up with a post soon now.. :-)

  11. You should add the mailbox widget for the people who want to get through to you. As I'm one of them.

  12. Happy republic day to you guys! I'm afraid I don't know very much about India.

  13. @ Tay, I'm assuming that's for Stu!
    And she's a pretty cool friend to have,yes!
    P.S. You have a lot of commenting profiles,dontcha??:)
    @ Stu, Silent killer more like shor,no tamasha,passed like a dream you could say!
    And about the post,I'm trying girl,real hard...the pressure to top the last post's success is so hard...and I brought this on myself,hopefully you'll see one before this month ends!:)
    @ Nasir, *poof* TADA! Mailbox widget at your service sir...and hopefully I get your mail this don't know how curious I am!:)
    @ icyHighs, Glad you liked it homie!:)
    @ dWei, You could always learn!Thanks!:)

  14. Aaaannnndddd it's sent. Tell me you got it.


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