A Brief History of Me

(Though it’s not exactly history, it’s my geography , chemistry(Giggle!) and my physics rolled into one (Not very girly am I??!).What to say, the title looked good & felt good so here goes...)

(Btw thank you Stephen Hawking for letting me borrow your book-title though I'm not a fan of your work)

Onward...

I had to find a cool new original way of introducing myself after all the talented people out there have dhapofied (That’s Hindi for filched...I know it’s not the best word, but make do) all the coolest ways I could think of....

This is what popped into my mind...

So here we go....

I don’t have a s**y stomach nor do I have a kick-ass butt (Pun intended),

And when I sleep I'm no elegant queen; I drool, and blabber and roll all over the bed

I'm guilty of wearing crotch-torn leggings to camps and meetings;

I'm guilty too sometimes of burping and farting aloud (Though of course I try to hide these things)

My legs and arms are un-waxed and stained. Pure and pristine in their God-given naturalness!

And some days (Very rarely for good girlness’s sake!), I’m a lazy pig and prefer staying unwashed and become a stinking, sweaty mess.

You might think I’m disgusting already but there’s more, I’m sad to say,

All this was on my exterior, But wait and see how I am after I introspect, my dear...

I’m guilty of being a hypocrite and narcissistic girl,

And a person who's sometimes insensitive and many times in a whirl.

I’m a terrible sister to my siblings; I feel they’d be better off without me

I can’t even make tea and once dropped a baby, honestly. I’m worried about the mother I’ll be...

I spend it when I have it so sometimes I have to beg for a penny.

And I have an awful laugh when I think that something is funny

I'm selfish, sometimes uncompassionate and always thinking of ME,

But...in spite of all these shortcomings I am good in some ways as you’ll see...

Umm...let’s see now...oh yes!

I genuinely love people and am not afraid to show it (Except when daddy's around and guys are the concerned people !)

 I'm kind and helpful most of the time,

And help mamma anyway I can (When I feel like it) Even if it’s only squeezing a lime!

That was a horrible rhyming ploy but I must go on...

I'm innocent (O.k., that was sometime before!!) and understanding and will pay attention carefully to whatever you say,

So that makes me a good listener and I’ll try to fulfil a request come what may.

I'm not miserly and don’t worry about how I spend my money,

And if someone forgot something, I'm quick to forgive and say, "It's ok, there’s always next time, honey…"

 I'm smart but I don’t show off (Sometimes but I do try to be modest about it!)

And my patience is so great I’ll listen to people even if it’s a lot of s**t!

And above all, I'm willing to improve myself,

 I'm not some pompous self- satisfied elf.

All my awful shortcomings I've laid bare here,

Hoping that I’ll improve myself after repenting in the future near!

So that’s what I'm hoping to accomplish with this blog,

And in spite of the crazy rhyming fetish and things, I'm hoping you’ll stay with me and not think me a terrible slob... :-)

Hope you liked it.And do let me know if you did!

N.B. Those of you wandering how this entry was written on 24/9/2012 when I started this blog on 30/10/2012;
I actually 'wrote' this entry on the previous date so decided to maintain the originality...that's all!
Adieu!

Distinguish Between the Terms Bathroom, Washroom & Restroom

Bathroom - What the toilet plus bath area, at home or in any home, mostly is called.

For me the term bathroom conjures up an image of a bathtub and sweet smelling soap so it is justified in being called ‘bathroom’ I feel.

Restroom - What the place mentioned above is called in malls, Mc Donald’s, posh colleges or anywhere where there are hoity-toity, size-zero, elbow-bag-clutching people around...

This term I think is justified when it refers to the place where Mia took a break(In the eighth part of The Princess Diaries, after Michael broke THE news) & Not otherwise...I think I can justify calling it the dust and paint room in malls because that’s what it’s used for!(Except all the dusting and painting is on bodies not on walls!)

Washroom - What the loo is called in college...That is the only place I've heard this term used so far other than camp.

The place is rather justified in being called washroom (Read: wounds & periods...don’t eww me!)But the loo in college stinks so bad it should be called the piss, puke and poop room (Courtesy April’s blog!)

O.k., that’s it for my potty blog...I'm not a grand fan of toilet humour but I think I should write another monologue on it! (Idea from the YA! newspaper)

At the rate I'm writing, I’ll probably end up having a dictionary sized book before my diploma ends, all on my ranting and ravings!

Cool huh...and to think I wasted so many years!

I'm going to have to edit out this paragraph when I organise this stuff...Too much of the old boring spirit in it...anyhoo, tata!

Idea for a new blog:

1. Difference between a plait and braid.

2. Why aren't feminists very feminine?